The Trump campaign cares about my dog

Last year my dead dog signed up to receive email from the Trump Campaign, because she is a right wing nut case and also because she likes clowns.

Periodically she received emails, but as Trump became the obvious (and dangerous) GOP nominee, she would often reply with terse and insulting comments directed at the obviously under qualified, moronic, orange faced, tiny fingered vulgarian. No matter what she wrote in reply to his mass emails, she never heard back. Until this morning.

First, she got this email from the Trump campaign:

“Dear Beth,

Make sure to get your tickets to join Donald J. Trump and team in Fairfield, CT tomorrow, August 13th, for a Donald J. Trump for President Rally! Details about the event are below:  

Saturday, August 13th: Fairfield, CT
William H. Pitt Center at the Campus of Sacred Heart University
5151 Park Ave
Fairfield, CT 06825
Doors Open: 4:30 PM
Event Begins: 7:30 PM
Register for tickets by clicking here. 
Please limit personal items and arrive early to expedite entrance into the venue – please note, NO homemade signs, banners, professional cameras with a detachable lens, tripods, monopods, selfie sticks, back packs or large bags will be permitted into the venue.

We hope to see you there!


Team Trump”

To which she replied:

“Dumb Donny, you’re a con man and an idiot.”

Usually, that would be it. No reply, my dead dog feeling somewhat superior in her twitter like insult to an oblivious blow hard. Then a new email, in reply to my dogs message, was received.

“Good Morning,

We respect your opinion and we are sorry to receive your letter.  Mr. Trump is fighting for every vote.  We believe the information you have been provided about Mr. Trump’s views is not correct, and we encourage you to visit our website, for more information on Mr. Trump’s policy positions and his plan to boost incomes, rebuild our military, protect against terrorism, and to fight for you and all Americans against the special interests.

Team Trump”

So my dog, who once successfully sued the United States Postal Service for supporting Lance Armstrong, replied as only a Harvard educated Australian Shepard could:

“That does not change the fact that Trump is a moronic bigot, multi-married, racist, bankrupt con man who is fooling low information rubes, but continues to lose in the polls because the vast majority of Americans will not fall for his con.
Good day to you.”

She does not expect another reply, but because she’s an optimist at heart, she secretly hopes Ivanka gives her a shoutout.


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